Queerly Beloved, we are gathered here today in celebration of the marriage between the fantastically queer-friendly club of Netrippers FC and the phenominal footballing community based in the city of Portland, Oregon.
This marriage between these two prolific footballing bodies not only represents a union of two communities, but also a step forward in the evolution of how football should be: a sport that truly belongs to all, no matter your gender identity or self-expression.
It is in this vein that we have congregated together, bound by the notion that hitting the perfect shot into the top corner of the goal has nothing to do with what is in your pants and that executing a beautiful bicycle-kick goes far beyond any limits of a socially constructed gender binary.
Queerly Beloved, do you take this community? To value and cherish until the referee blows the final whistle? In extra time and penalties as well?